Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize