i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
