I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
