Got a toothbrush?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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