I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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