the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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