In the future we'll all be gay
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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