I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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