I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
