that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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