Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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