my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
