I look better un-naked...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I believe in your delicious
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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