my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
