I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
