We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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