Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
