why do cheetos always look like penises
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
