My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
