sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
