What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
