we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
