he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
