I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
