I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
