carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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