walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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