Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
