quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
