You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
