what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
