I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
