Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
