he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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