I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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