dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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