'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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