Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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