finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
