Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
