So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
