Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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