just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
