3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dear god my vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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