Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
