apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
