i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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