Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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