I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
