Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
