even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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