I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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