it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
