i think my tv is drunk
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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