They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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