We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
