How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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