whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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