he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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