you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
